Should you choose to accept it…
16 July 2006We are men.
We live in a society that has forgotten what it means to be a man. Powerful masculinity is equated with movie stars, and chiefly defined in terms of frequent indiscriminate sex and still more frequent and indiscriminate explosions. Idealized masculinity is the action hero: admirable, but not attainable by the ordinary male. In practice, masculinity is a half-hearted imitation of these models, with pornography and cheap alcohol a ready salve for failure.
Young boys are difficult. They won’t “behave.” Schools respond by doping them with Ritalin and encouraging them to act like girls. Colleges are geared the same way; an increasing number of men shrug, give it up, and go learn a practical job instead.
Too many families are not training their sons to be men. Unchallenging stepfathers, either abusive or too eager to be “buddies,” try to fill the gaps left in families abandoned by earlier husbands and live-in boyfriends. Some boys know no father at all. Even close families, blessed with good fathers, are led by men most of whom were not themselves trained in manhood. More than one generation has failed.
Churches often do little better. Men are told to be “nice” by the servants of an effeminate Jesus with a soft smile and weak arms: an esteem-enhancing psychotherapist in place of a carpenter- turned-prophet, with a paraphrased New Testament as their recommended self-help book. Songs to our sappy boyfriend in the sky offer little to quench the thirst of male souls. A watered-down and inoffensive gospel too seldom speaks to the still, small voice telling men that somewhere, surely, there must be more than this.
Something has been lost.
We want it back.
If you don’t like manhood, you won’t like this blog. Our goal is to initiate and cultivate an ongoing conversation on the subject of Godly manhood. If you have a question, ask us; we will do our best to find an answer. If you have an answer to a question we raise (or ought to have raised but haven’t yet), supply it.
We earnestly ask other men to join us in this journey. Read. Comment. Correct. Define. Contribute. Agree. Disagree. Walk with us. Sharpen us, and let us sharpen you.
We welcome comments, thoughts, and even guest-posts from women. We need the insights and wisdom of our sisters. Help us live out our calling.
Because we do not just want to talk about manliness. We want to live it. We want to be hearers and doers of the Word.
We are seeking insights, experiences, the wisdom of every age and society. The manhood that was lost in Adam has been regained in Christ. We want to participate in that victory.
Are we frightened? Well, yes, a little. This project is far too big for us to do on our own. We will often be stepping out scarcely knowing what we are doing. But as the Apostle Paul proclaims, “When I am weak, then I am strong.” Knowing our own inadequacies, we place ourselves in His hands. And we ask all of you to keep us in your prayers.
We are embarking on a journey.
Will you join us?
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! It’s about time someone said something. I’ve been dealing with this as a pastor. I find men in the church don’t want to be men and men outside the church won’t come in because they don’t see many real christian men! Let’s wake up men! We can change a generation, starting with our own homes, if we will be the kind of man Jesus was! There’s too much at stake not to!
I’m looking forward to this.
Worthwhile goal. I fear that by the very nature of your discussion most people will ignore this. They will be apathetic, proud, or afraid. God bless.
Bravo. I am glad that you do object to the ladies reading this. I did have one question I would like explained,
“Men are told to be “nice” by the servants of an effeminate Jesus with a soft smile and weak arms:” How does this differ from Dr. Hake’s call for men to have “perfect strength under perfect control.”?
Briefly: strength must first exist, in order to be controlled. The absence of strength rules out the possibility for control. The lack of either is equally an error and a failing in complete manhood.
Hopefully we will have a full-length post on Dr. Hake’s definition of gentleness in the very near future. Keep a look-out for it.
Since “godly manhood” presupposes “manhood” (just as “controlled strength” presupposes “strength,” see above), I hope that you three will not circumvent a necessary discussion of what constitutes manliness. I will take the liberty of suggesting that you start with Mansfield’s recent monograph on the subject (and the innumerable reviews of it). I urge you, also, not to neglect Dr. Root’s excellent essay last year in Notes on the Times titled “Be a Man, Not a Mama’s Boy.” Should you have misplaced that edition of Notes, I can provide you with a copy.
Here is the link to Dr. Root’s piece: http://atsociety.blogspot.com/2005/05/be-man-not-mamas-boy.html
I’m hoping to have at least one review (maybe multiple reviews, from different angles) of Mansfield’s book in the not-too-distant future. You’re welcome to submit one….
Thanks for the link.
I hope we don’t circumvent a discussion of manliness; that seems pretty central to what we’re trying to do here. I hope you, and others commenting here, will participate in that process through continued comments, directing us to further useful resources, etc.
This is soooo awesome. Growing up I never really knew what it ment to be a man. Didn’t really have a father and no real example in my first church. When I became a Christian I was confussed as to what it ment to be a Christian Man, nor how to display Christian manhood to those around me. It wasn’t till recently that I got to witness a Christian Father and I absorbed all I could. I am willing both to share what I have learned as well as absorb even more knowledge so that I may grow in God and honor him in all I do. His glory comes first in everything. Praise AGod for this.
Hey Andy! Long time no see! Hope you’re doing well.
Peter–This is a great endeavor and I feel so very blessed that you are a key player in starting this movement.
We need manly men who know who they are, who know who and why they worship and are willing to stand up for their faith and their principles.
Much love from your Grandpa.
Methinks that you are being a bit hard on step-fathers…
Miss Z — possibly so. Probably a bit hard on birth-fathers, too. But realize that I was condemning a negative pattern, not all specific people. There are both biological fathers and step-fathers who have done a great job; but, unfortunately, there has been a general failure, extensive enough that most of the men of our generation are suffering its results to some extent. How many of us can claim a great manly father, and other relations, and Church and community men, who fed into our lives and trained us in manhood? Some, but not nearly enough. I consider myself well on the “very blessed” end of the curve, and there are a lot of things I never learned as I should’ve.
That being said, there will be some positive comments coming on those who are doing things right. Let it not be said that we focused only on the negative, and failed to praise those worthy of it. (And thank God for the step-fathers who come in and do what the fathers did not!)